My first lapdances....

I've been to strip clubs before. My first one was in an Army-base town & my friend was a pregnant stripper. (classy) I was 20 and trying not to let anyone see me look at the girls. I battled with being attracted to girls a LOT. It was 1991, I was from a small redneck town where gay-bashing jokes were rampant & scary. There was no way I could tell anyone that I liked boys AND girls. And wanted to devour them all.

(sidenote: my ex-husband proposed to me in an alley outside a strip club. High class.)


Even in jr high, I remember changing clothes in the locker room & the girl beside me had incredible tits. My mouth watered as I forced myself to look the other way...but all I wanted to do was lean over and put her perfect, rigid nipple in my mouth. I was out-of-my-mind afraid that people could read my thoughts, so I always kept my eyes downcast as much as possible in school.


Jr high & high school was a very confusing time for me, all those hormones racing & I could not figure out if I liked boys or girls. I went along with the mainstream crowd & 'dated' boys. Always the 'bad boys' too, if they had a rugged exterior, caused trouble or had a bad reputation. Hell, I grew up & still live in John Mellencamp & James Dean country. Bad boys liked wild girls.

Anyway, back to the 'attracted to girls' thing. I pushed that down for years, didn't explore it until I was 19. I fell in love with a girl & we were both terrified of our feelings. Kissing her was like biting into juicy peaches...oh my god, I still fantasize about her kisses. We were both totally inept at the girl-on-girl thing....and we laughed and learned and explored. It's a hella lot easier sneaking girly sex with the ruse of sleepovers than it is trying to get it on with your boyfriend when you still live with your parents.

And then one day...it all just fell apart. No more sleepovers, no more phone calls...just stopped. I ran into her at a drugstore buying a pregnancy test. She totally avoided eye contact. Awkward as hell, I wished her the best & walked out. I've not been 'in love' with a girl since--until now. I'm more terrified of loving a girl than I am a guy--I don't have a clue why. It just wounded me to the core.

Hell, this all started as a story about going to the strip club and now I'm all trying to figure out my girl attraction.

Roger, Sue & I went to a little dive with $50. Dollar lapdances bayyybeee! I loved staring at the men getting hard with booty in their face. (I do so love watching cocks harden.) I'm not wild about touching strangers--but Roger pulled the "dom card" and I melted into a puddle. He leaned over, yanked my hair hard, shoved bills in my hand & said "DO IT." I'm a wuss, I admit it. lol.
I damn near had to sit on my hands--I wanted to fondle her perky tits & nibble on her perfect ass. Gyrating her ass in my face, Sue made eye contact with me & I pretended to take a bite. The bouncer sees this & hollers "BITE HER" and I accidentally touched her leg & she flinched. I was MORTIFIED. I'd broken the cardinal rule of the strip club--they can touch YOU, but you can't touch THEM. I turned 4 shades of red and kept saying "I'm sooooo sorry!" She laughed it off while the bar laughed at ME! lol.

Sue & I were the only non-stripper/non-bartender girls there. Roger is pointing out who is checking us out. I told him he had a god complex because he was the only guy there who was definitely going to get laid that night AND with two women. We went home with $10, hot, horny & had crazy threesome sex. Ahhh, I love my life.